We’ve all heard the age-old aphorism “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” It was the popular response to any form of insult, a verbal riposte that should have effectively ended the exchange. When I was in elementary school, we were taught to report physical bullying but to ignore verbal attacks; in effect, it was the victim’s fault if they let the hurtful words get to them. Cases of physical bullying at my school were rare, but recess was practically a verbal sporting match. Nobody was safe, and the words were brutal. Every day, for whatever reason, somebody would get called a “fag”, a “homo”, a “retard”, or a “gay-wad” (my computer has no idea how to style that last one, and neither do I). Though many of the kids who freely hurled these insults associated them with being a loser, few knew exactly what they meant. I went to elementary school in the mid-1990s, before major anti-hate campaigns were launched on television let alone the internet. There was nobody there to explain to us seven year-olds that by calling somebody a “fag” or a “retard”, we were a.) implying in the rudest way possible that the person on the receiving end was either homosexual or mentally handicapped and b.) that we were implying that being a homosexual or mentally handicapped was something to be scorned and ridiculed. The epithet “faggot” has a particularly nasty etymology; historically, faggots were groups of sticks tied together and used for large fires, and homosexuals were often burned as heretics or "abominations" in the past (homosexuality sadly continues to be punishable by death in certain countries). Not exactly something every elementary school student knows.
A more updated version of the aphorism should go “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will stay with me for life.” This works both ways. Many people my age continue to use these hurtful words simply because they have always used them and are unwilling to stop, despite knowing now exactly what they mean. Maybe its because they know what the words mean and what kind of connotation they bring when used that the insults have thus “stayed” with them. At this age, most people also know that epithets have lasting impacts on people; the internet is full of stories of people who committed suicide after enduring long bouts of verbal bullying. Maya Angelou once said that people may not remember what you said or what you did, but they do remember how you made them feel. In this way, hurtful words stay with those who have had to endure them for life.
Chris
A more updated version of the aphorism should go “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will stay with me for life.” This works both ways. Many people my age continue to use these hurtful words simply because they have always used them and are unwilling to stop, despite knowing now exactly what they mean. Maybe its because they know what the words mean and what kind of connotation they bring when used that the insults have thus “stayed” with them. At this age, most people also know that epithets have lasting impacts on people; the internet is full of stories of people who committed suicide after enduring long bouts of verbal bullying. Maya Angelou once said that people may not remember what you said or what you did, but they do remember how you made them feel. In this way, hurtful words stay with those who have had to endure them for life.
Chris
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